"what does it mean to be odd?"

odd -
-adjective
1. differing in nature from what is ordinary, usual, or expected
2. singular or peculiar in a strange or eccentric way
3. fantastic; bizarre

I have tried to think of a word that defines me as a person. So I looked up various words. I found that I am best defined by the word "odd". And I don't feel it is not in a bad way. I am actually feeling very proud to be defined as "odd". The word had multiple definitions, however, I think the first three define me perfectly.
The reason I feel the need to type this is because people really don't get me. I think that I am so different from most people in what makes me happy. The sad part is that it does make me the outcast in most conversations and situations. I have spent so many years feeling sad about my differences. It has made me feel like I don't fit in. There have been so many times in my life that I have tried to alter things about myself to try to fit in. At times in my life, I hid behind a mask of make-up and fake hair and fake nails. I altered my physical appearance to fit in and it didn't make me any happier on the inside. I went through the grunge phase (now called "emo") where I had a black light and screaming music and dark clothes. It didn't make me fit in. I wasted money on physical possessions to make me a part of a group. It left me broke, which further depressed me. I was medicated for depression because I couldn't find the root of my sadness. The doctoral solution was to keep adding more and more pills but it never fixed what was underneath. It was a band-aid to a festering wound.

My only life regret is that it took so long to figure this out.

Here is what I have found that has led me to a state of internal peace...it is the simple things in life.
I love to be outdoors.
I love the smell of fresh air, cut grass, fresh rain, sea water, and baby's skin.
I love to look at nature.
--------The other day, Kevin and I took the kids on a hike around the bashakill wetlands. We stopped and overlooked the bashakill and I found myself so thankful for being alive. There was this beautiful white tree that Kevin and I are still talking about. It was about 30 feet tall with the most beautiful white pattern on it where the bark had been stripped away. I can't fully explain how wonderful it felt that I could stop and enjoy it.
I am a person who does "stop and smell the coffee".
I love babies, children, teenagers, adults, and old people.
I love to smile and laugh.
I love to read.
I love animals, especially dogs and horses.
I love that when an emergency arises, I am calm and know what to do.
I love to look at pick-up trucks.
I like the sound of a diesel engine.
I love catfish fishing.
I love to eat meat, fish and seafood.
I love sushi and kashi.
I love the feel of aching muscles because I have physically pushed myself.
I love that Kevin is my best friend, and not someone I need to impress.
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I know it sounds strange but these are the things that really make me happy. Kevin and I and the kids had a wonderful day yesterday. We went grocery shopping, picked up sushi, watched parts of the Lord of the Rings, took the kids to the park to play, and then went hiking with the kids and Hank. We saw another beautiful tree. We looked at and discussed the pattern of barnwood on old barns. We discussed the amazing history that is related to the construction of the old D&H canal. This really made me happy. To people that I know, this probably sounds stupid and boring, but it made me feel happy and alive.

To all my special people, I am always available for a walk and a talk...